Happy New Year :)

Dear Readers,

I know it has been an extremely long time since my last post and for that I apologize. My life has been through quite a series of changes in the last year and I want to share with you some of my experiences and what I have learned from it all.

Going back to the summertime when I had applied and been accepted to the college I currently attend, I was between working at the CNE again and packing to move away to live and study in Peterborough. I was anxious and excited because I had already done my first year two years before hand and I was (and still am) very anxious and excited to finish school and finally begin my career. My whole life I have wanted to help people and now I am looking at finally having a way to really give back and contribute to my community.

In my personal life however, there was another big change looming that took me a really long time to realize and accept. After 5 years of being in a relationship with Scott, I came to the realization about a year and a half ago that our life together was heading in a direction that I simply couldn't go. I communicated how I felt with him and we tried for a year to make it work but in the end, it was just best for us to go on our separate ways. We both have a lot of growing to do as individuals before either of us is ready to settle down. I am glad to say that there is no animosity between us either, on the contrary I think we will remain in each other's lives as friends.

I am learning that if you are in a relationship or are getting into one, you really need to know who you are and who the person is that you are looking to be with. My inner romantic kind of suffered a big blow when I finally realized that love doesn't always conquer all. I am still working on the part where I come to accept that this is okay. I have the knowledge that it is; that you can love people even if they aren't meant to walk every step of your life with you. I just need to get to the point where I feel it as the truth as well.

At this point in my life I am taking the time to really learn about myself and get to know who I am again. I believe it is vitally important to come to any relationship as a complete person on your own. Although I love the saying 'my other half' I think it is a bad representation of how a healthy relationship should be.

In my mind, two people should come together as strong individuals who are forming an even stronger partnership. They can each stand on their own, but the love they feel brings them together simply for the purpose of being together and working towards similar goals. If someone can't stand on their own and be happy with just themselves, I don't think that is a healthy way to be in a relationship.

My reasoning is this; if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you? Self love, and self respect are two of the most important things. I think I have written before that having a healthy love and respect for yourself is vital to your mental and emotional health. I don't mean to be vain on conceited. I believe that I am beautiful and a good person - but I don't see myself as better than anyone else, I am just the best me there is.

I also strongly believe that you should always take charge of your own happiness. Putting someone else in charge of your happiness will only lead to disappointment. It just goes back to the old analogy; if you put someone on a pedestal, eventually and inevitably, they will fall.

So that is what I am working on, taking these things I have learned and committing them to my heart until I feel them as truth. I feel like I am in a process of tearing myself down and rebuilding the person I want to be - who I know I am inside.

The obvious emotions that this change brought up did make focusing on my studies difficult to say the least, however I am happy to say that I passed all of my classes and will be moving on to my placement in the upcoming semester! After that, I guess I will find out what the universe has planned for me.

I am looking forward to getting into the field and working as an SSW so I can really start helping people the way that I have always wanted to. Maybe I will finally be able to put my idea factory to good use and come up with some programs or activities for the community.

Thank you for reading, hopefully the next post won't take me so long.


Warmest Regards,


~ Oriona