When I was in school, I was involved in a lot of activities and I had a lot of friends so those things on top of my school work could be really overwhelming. As time went on I felt myself struggling to keep up with everything and I was becoming more and more stressed out - as I know a lot of students do. What I did to deal with all of that was I made a schedule for myself. I made it so I only worked on my school work at school, that way I knew when I got home I could just relax. The most important thing I ensured was that every night I was getting enough sleep. I didn't pull any 'all nighters' I would just wake up early in the morning and work on whatever it was. This method really did a lot to reduce my stress and gave me time to wind down but also helped me keep alert and my mind well rested when I needed to think.
Another thing I did, or rather didn't do, was cram-study for tests or exams. I found that when I did, my mind was so focused on the things I tried to remember that I all but completely forgot everything else, I just drew a blank. So when I was in class, I took small notes, but mostly just paid attention to the discussion. It worked really well for me in the end and I ended up with a GPA of 3.8. :) Mom was really proud. Now I'm not trying to tell people not to study, if it works for you, that's great :) this is just what worked for me.
Anyway, I just really think that self care is super important, life just gets really overwhelming sometimes and when we try to take on everything at once, we tend to crash. That's why another one of my rules for myself is to take everything one step at a time. I am religious about making lists to help keep my thoughts organized, it helps me prioritize and remember everything I need to do. I also like to break things down for myself and give myself baby-step goals to help me accomplish something. But as far as self care, I like listening to relaxing music, especially classical acoustic guitar or Dan Gibson's Solitudes. I also like to give myself relaxing 'Goddess time' where I take a long, hot, candle-lit bath, then relax, listen to music, brush my hair, moisturize, etc. I call it Goddess time because that's how I treat myself and that's how I feel. It is wonderful and I highly recommend it to everyone.Stress is highly destructive to a person spiritually, mentally, and even physically. That's why I always tell my friends and the people around me (especially myself) that you need to listen to your body, it knows what's up and can help you to figure out what it is so you can deal with it.
The second thing I want to talk about is body image, I work at a women's fashion store called Voluptuous that caters to plus-size women and I see so many people who just have a terrible view of themselves. All I see every day is beautiful ladies, but all they can see about themselves is big arms, or back fat, large backsides, broad shoulders, etc. Somehow these gorgeous ladies perceive themselves as ugly because they don't fit into a certain idealized image - which is ridiculous.Everyone and I mean EVERYONE is beautiful in their own way. If we all looked the same it would be a boring world. Also, the models who these women are trying to look like - the models themselves don't even look like they do in their pictures. I think everyone needs to develop a healthy love and respect for themselves - not saying to be self-centered or conceited, but to love everything you are and accept the things that you aren't. Find things about yourself that you love. - for me it's my hair and eyes ;)
Being native, I use to be really ashamed of my white skin. I told my mom when I was probably about 13 or 14 that I wanted to dye my hair and go tanning so that people would believe me when I told them I was native. She told my dad and he took me aside and said "Mija, don't ever try to change who you are, the Creator made you this way for a reason. And don't let anyone else try to tell you who you are or where you come from. If you cut your finger, you bleed just as Red as anyone else." - It was from then on that I tried to always embrace myself and who I am, what I am, and the kind of person I am. I try to be the best I can and yes, I am white in my colouring, but my heart and my spirit will always be Native and I know that no one can ever take that from me.
As I got older, I started gaining weight too and my curves became more and more pronounced. Like anyone, I started seeing myself as fat and ugly, telling myself that I needed to lose weight. The past couple years I have learned a few things about that too. First, no one really notices your flaws until you point them out yourself. Next, when you see yourself as beautiful and you act the way you feel, that is how others will see you as well. Also, I have learned that people are always so focused on themselves and their own "flaws" that they really aren't going to even notice let alone care about any that you might perceive to have. Finally, I have learned not to compare myself to anyone else because that just breeds envy and not only that but comparing yourself to someone else is just foolish because you will never be them and they will never be you.
In the past while, I have started to see myself as beautiful and radiant, I just love me! - I don't think I am better or worse than anyone else but I am the very best ME there is. So there. I think that is enough for now, some food for thought (hopefully).
I hope you enjoyed this episode of The Starchild Diaries, see you next time!
~ Oriona
Photo 1 Credit - http://www.mytripolog.com/2012/07/top-best-resorts-and-hotels-in-maldives/
Photo 2 Credit - http://www.iacg.co.in/viewportfolio.php
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