"The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams" - Eleanor Roosevelt
That is one of my all time favourite quotes; one that has given me hope through some of my darkest times. Lately, I have been going through another one of those dark times. I think it started with not being able to go to school this year(financial reasons) and then looking around thinking 'what now?' Truly, I felt like I had been running a race - the kind that you run in your dreams but the thing is you can barely move and aren't even moving forward - and then I felt like I had lost. I felt like I had failed, or fallen off the horse one too many times and didn't know where I could find the strength to get back up one more time.
Many of you who read this blog know me fairly well, at least enough to know that I am a very positive person and usually I come up with something to get me going again. Well I did, and that idea is soap. My friend Shawna and I have started a handcrafted soap business, we have the tools, supplies, and passion to get it going. And we have been, I have every faith that with hard work we could be the next body shop. Eventually I want to get into bath bombs and lotions and other things as well.
But then there is also my writing, I want to be an author, and I have a book going in just about every genre you can think of. I am looking for a literary agent and hoping against hope that one day my books can make some kind of a difference in this world. Also in the mean time of all that, I am also looking for a regular job to help support Scott and I while we try to navigate through our lives together. In some respects, I feel very successful, and in others I just feel like an utter failure.
I recently posted an ad on Kijiji called 'Ambitious Idealist Looking for Sponsor' - it was kind of a whim that I posted it. Basically, I was looking for someone crazy enough to 'donate' some funds towards my ideas because they, like me, think they are worth something. - Turns out that it's not that crazy of an idea. Do you know people actually get paid to play video games at home? It's called streaming and basically they sit there on web cam, and you can also see their game screen and people pay them to sit and play because they want to watch. and I'm thinking; well, why can't I get paid to write my books or something? Anyway, can you believe I actually got some replies? I don't know what is going to happen with all that, but don't worry I will be careful.
There's also this contest being put on by Alesse, and a person could win $5000 towards their idea. the thing is, I have so many I don't know which one to enter! Can anyone help with this?
That's it for now - have a good one,
Oriona
PS
The other words I live by are:
You are never stuck, no matter what, there is always a way.
Never settle for anything less than what is going to make you happy.
I realize that I think some random things a lot so I have been jotting some of my thoughts down for the past while and decided to share them with you guys - enjoy!
Sept 20
I see all these 'awesome pic/photography ideas' and all I can think is - do people actually just get together to take pictures that just make them look like they are having fun? Is that a fun activity? 'Omg now that we are done in the pool, let's go take pics of us throwing leaves around for fall!' Why don't people just go have fun and take spontaneous pictures of actually having fun? Is maintaining the appearance of a happy life more important than actually living it?
Sept 24
I wonder if I should just post my random thoughts on Tumblr- that's what everyone else does
What if I don't even realize I'm having random thoughts because it seems normal to me?
Sept 26
Do you ever see a person and think 'I could totally be friends with that person' - and you want to be friends with them but you're too shy to actually say anything
Usually when that happens I think they will miss judge me because I'm usually more comfortable around 'weird' people but I don't think my appearance always reflects that.
September 30
Laying sick in bed I realize how truly not good I'm feeling when I realize I'm laying here trying to figure out how folding chairs work.
By the way did I mention that I've had my phone for a year and only realized a week or so ago that the reason I couldn't hear anything was because my 'screen protector' - actually the packaging I just never took off - was covering the ear piece. - I feel like one of those really special kind of dumb people, like that person who doesn't know the sun is a star. fml.
October 4
Okay, so I enjoy a broad spectrum of entertainment everything from Oscar winning masterpieces to spongebob squarepants. And I'm like this with everything pretty much; music, books, my taste in fashion, my sense of humour, etc. and some people might say something like 'oh well this is stupid, I only listen to classic rock because it has soul and the music today sucks and has no soul - but I'm like 'hey, this is a pretty good song and it makes me happy to listen to it.' Why do people have to be so pretentious? I mean some people actually just refuse to like something BECAUSE it's so popular - what kind of system is that? Has the need to be unique forced people to become this crazy? How about liking stuff because YOU like it and leave everyone else out of it? Or vice versa?
October 8
I'm the type of person that would stretch with a drink in my hand and accidentally dump it on my head.
Little kids scare the crap out of me - especially 2 year olds - they just constantly run around doing stuff to get themselves hurt or they just tear stuff up and laugh like crazy little psychos
Went to go see Annabelle with my friend the other day and I was fine until she told me she hadn't been able to sleep because of nightmares - then last night I couldn't sleep because I kept seeing this sh** in my head:
So I smudged myself and my room and concentrated hard on my happy place!!
Last but not least, with my mom and brother coming this weekend, all I can think is:
Cleaning is the grown up 'never ending story' that is way overplayed and it sucks.
Goodnight!
~Oriona
