Unrequited

This is a poem I wrote a long time ago. It almost makes me laugh to read it now, but I know it came from a very dark place and to me, this is probably still the best poem I feel I have written...I haven't written any in a long time though which is good because I only write poetry when I am depressed so... anyway, here it is, I hope you like it.

                                 Unrequited

You lie to me                                                           that's alright.

Your
      Broken
          Promises                                                       are like velvet in my ear

Your
      Sinful
          Touch                                                           like fire on my skin.



Your words, I want you...

An invitation I cannot refuse.

So have me,
I am yours

Yours to take,
Yours to use

Use me.

I know the hurt will come, it always does.


But this I can endure because, 

You love me too...                                                              right?




Rest assured this poem is completely irrelevant for me now, but I just wanted to preserve it anyway. I feel that past emotions are important to remember because they have led to where you are now. I want to correct my previous statement, it isn't 'irrelevant' exactly, it is a part of me and these are words from an experience that shaped who I am today and for that, I am grateful.

For anyone reading this poem and possibly relating to it, I want you to know the lesson I took away from this experience. You are never stuck, and you deserve happiness. Your world does not begin or end with another person, it begins with you. The minute you decide to free yourself from any situation that is causing you pain, life gets so much better. Start living for you and the people who are there and actually care for you. When I decided to liberate myself, when I decided that I deserved better and would find better one day, it was so freeing. A weight was lifted and just there, by myself I felt whole. I still do. So don't hold yourself back from happiness, stand up and claim it for yourself.

Never settle for anything less than what is going to make you happy.
~Oriona

Making Pretty Things

Hello there :)

So I hope you guys have been having a good year so far, I have been busy busy busy! Back in November, I went to stay with Scott's parents to help his mom look after his sister's kids while she went on vacation. That was a lot of fun, Janie and I make a really good team and the kids are so sweet and well behaved. After that, I went right from there to my mom's place to look after her while she recovered from surgery - it was nice to have a good long visit with her and my younger brother. While I was there I introduced her to 'Netflixing' and she binge-watched the entire Gilmore Girl series which of course when it was over she had a good long cry because "IT'S OVER!!! :'( " - I found it really funny because I guess I am mean like that.

A few of you may have noticed that I started another blog called Media Reviews by Oriona which is me reviewing books, movies, music, and anything else that I find interesting. Someone on youtube asked me to review his glass ornaments that he makes that are actually really beautiful and the process seems really cool so I am going to look into doing that for him.

the first week of January, my longest and best friend Abi came up from the states to visit which was awesome! She was a little dismayed with the weather, but she had a bit of a "DUH!" minute because, hello? Canada in January... But it was still lots of fun, we went shopping and exploring and saw an IMAX dome movie at the Ontario Science Centre which is like, the coolest place ever and awesomely not that far from where I live :)

Then there was job hunting, and job finding. I am really excited to start work next week! But I am also extremely excited to be re-starting my little craft business of Starchild Creations! (Previously known as Sacred Star Creations) I am starting with a Facebook page and hope to expand to etsy.com and craft shows and things like that. So far I am making Painted Gratitude Stones and Splash Paintings, but very soon I am going to be making those microwavable heating pads and probably some other stuff. I also started writing a new book which in the last week I have written the first two chapters. It is called 'The Darkness' (working title) and it is going to be a supernatural thriller based on a terrifying thing that happened to me when I was little. *scary music*

In May, mom, Stone and I are being flown down (courtesy of my AMAZING big brother) to the beautiful (and hot) state of Arizona to see him graduate and visit him and my sisters!! There is just so much going on right now and I am so incredibly happy and grateful for this wonderful life I live.

Wishing you happiness and love
~Oriona

My Calling

I don't remember exactly when I realized it, but for a really long time now I have realized that my calling in this life is writing. I really hit the nail on the head this morning when talking to my mom. I really love all forms of art, but the one that I feel I really have a grasp of is writing and story telling. I see pictures like this:

- and I want to be able to paint that in someone's mind. I want to be able to write in such detail as to create this in someone's head. I know the joy of reading a really good book and getting so immersed in the story I don't even see the book anymore, it becomes like a movie playing in my head. Writing is my art form and I have so many ideas and stories that I know this is what I am meant to do. 

As I think I have said before, my long term plan is to write (hopefully) successful books and also own my own business which would be a store/cafe. Although I love writing and have every faith that I will become an accomplished author, I also recognize the need for a steady income.

On that note, I also need a steady income right now, and as I am currently staying with my mother while she recovers from surgery, that has become next to impossible. Lately I have been looking for online jobs which is a challenge because I have never had an online job so I am unfamiliar with how it works. It's hard trying to find something that I even qualify for and then I have to try and make my application stand out from the others and I am not sure how you do that online. In person, I can smile and have a friendly chat with my prospective employers but online I'm just a resume. Anyway, I am sure I will figure it out. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am never short of entrepreneurial ideas.

Getting back to my books, that is going very well so far. I just finished a story called Grandfather Eagle about a little girl who finds and raises a baby eagle. One day he is taken away and released into a nature preserve. He is happy there but misses the girl so he finds his way back to her. - The only thing I need now is an illustrator to do the drawings for my book. Until I find my artist though, I will get back to writing my other on the go books. There's The Ripple Effect which I think is going to be my big one. I also have the first of a series I am working on called the Adventure Girl series, based on stories my mom use to tell me when I was little. I have a lot of ideas with my books, like trying to make them all connected somehow. 

Okay I am kind of excited so I want to talk about some of my other story ideas, here's two:

1. Working title: Journey, about a young woman who either has amnesia and doesn't remember who she is OR she is a runaway from a foster home. But either way she is on the road following clues to who she really is and where she is from. She works odd jobs to get from place to place and also solves mysteries and helps the people that she meets. I want this to be a series, and I might work in some kind of supernatural element to the story but I'm not sure yet. 

2. No working title yet, but I am thinking a future almost post-apocalyptic but not quite. The earth is dying and people are either living in anarchy or they are following crazed, warped, and extreme religions. Somehow, I haven't worked it out yet, but some select people end up being blasted into space as a last attempt to find habitable planets for mankind to move to. The main character is one of these people but I'm not sure which direction I am going to take it from there. Will she find a planet? Will some freak accident happen leaving her with powers? Will it be more of a spiritual book? Will she enter a different dimension? 

Best way to figure it out is to write it out so that's what I am going to do!

Until later,
Oriona

Picture Credit: http://pichost.me/1560923/

Words I Live By

"The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams" - Eleanor Roosevelt

That is one of my all time favourite quotes; one that has given me hope through some of my darkest times. Lately, I have been going through another one of those dark times. I think it started with not being able to go to school this year(financial reasons) and then looking around thinking 'what now?' Truly, I felt like I had been running a race - the kind that you run in your dreams but the thing is you can barely move and aren't even moving forward - and then I felt like I had lost. I felt like I had failed, or fallen off the horse one too many times and didn't know where I could find the strength to get back up one more time.

Many of you who read this blog know me fairly well, at least enough to know that I am a very positive person and usually I come up with something to get me going again. Well I did, and that idea is soap. My friend Shawna and I have started a handcrafted soap business, we have the tools, supplies, and passion to get it going. And we have been, I have every faith that with hard work we could be the next body shop. Eventually I want to get into bath bombs and lotions and other things as well. 

But then there is also my writing, I want to be an author, and I have a book going in just about every genre you can think of. I am looking for a literary agent and hoping against hope that one day my books can make some kind of a difference in this world. Also in the mean time of all that, I am also looking for a regular job to help support Scott and I while we try to navigate through our lives together. In some respects, I feel very successful, and in others I just feel like an utter failure.

I recently posted an ad on Kijiji called 'Ambitious Idealist Looking for Sponsor' - it was kind of  a whim that I posted it. Basically, I was looking for someone crazy enough to 'donate' some funds towards my ideas because they, like me, think they are worth something. - Turns out that it's not that crazy of an idea. Do you know people actually get paid to play video games at home? It's called streaming and basically they sit there on web cam, and you can also see their game screen and people pay them to sit and play because they want to watch. and I'm thinking; well, why can't I get paid to write my books or something? Anyway, can you believe I actually got some replies? I don't know what is going to happen with all that, but don't worry I will be careful.

There's also this contest being put on by Alesse, and a person could win $5000 towards their idea. the thing is, I have so many I don't know which one to enter! Can anyone help with this?

That's it for now - have a good one,
Oriona

PS

The other words I live by are:

You are never stuck, no matter what, there is always a way.

Never settle for anything less than what is going to make you happy.