Another Chapter

I know I haven't written in a very long time and that is because for a while now I have felt the need to withdraw into myself for some introspection. I started this process in a very dark place. Day after day would go by that I barely even got out of bed. The apartment got progressively more messy which only added to what I realized was a growing depression. I can't remember now exactly what triggered it. Maybe it was a collection of a lot of things that just came crashing down on me. I woke up one day and decided that no matter what life was throwing at me, I had to be stronger than what I was being - that I AM stronger than that. I started with baby steps, setting little goals for myself. I got better but I wasn't tip top until Scott and I came back from our annual "camping retreat." I've gone there every year my entire life but this time really changed me. I gained new perspective on myself and I was able to let go of a lot of things that have been holding me back for a long time. 

So now I am starting a new chapter. I am going back to school and that means I am moving to Peterborough for the school year. I will be on my own for a while and I know it will be hard to be away from Scott, but I am looking forward to taking the time for myself. I think it is important for people to get to know themselves completely, become independent, and learn to love themselves and enjoy their own company. That way when they come into a relationship, they are coming as two complete individuals who make up an equal partnership. This year will be for me to get to know myself again and take time to improve myself in all the ways I feel are necessary.

I have been making my lists and getting prepared for going away - I'm really excited to get on with life. I have also made another decision for myself that even though I know it will be really good for me overall, I am already starting to feel the tug of anxiety from withdrawal. The decision is to downgrade from my iphone to a flip phone and to generally pull back a few steps from technology. I'll still use my computer and stuff, but I don't want to constantly be plugged in. Today I called my phone company and changed my plan to a basic talk and text and when I finish this post I will be heading out to go and get my new phone. 

Let me explain my decision a bit more in depth. I have realized that since I got this phone, I have gradually stopped doing things I used to love such as writing, reading actual books, painting, crafting, etc. Replacing all those things with browsing the internet on my phone. I don't like that at all and I want to get back to myself again. I also want to pull back from facebook - which I have in a way because I don't post too much on there - but I want to take it a step further and get back to old fashioned pen and paper for keeping in touch with people.

I know what a lot of people are thinking now, 'I always knew that Oriona was weird, but now she's just gone absolutely bonkers.' But before you are too quick to judge, I just want to say that I find communication has become so accessible that it has also become superficial. I go on facebook every day and I look at what other people post and then I get off. I don't actually talk to anyone really anymore and that's because I don't feel the need to - all my questions are answered one I log in. Actually talking to someone would feel redundant. I'm really not good at keeping in touch and when I realize that fully, it breaks my heart and makes me question myself as a person.

Do you know I have never sent any of my siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, or nieces and nephews a card for their birthday even? To be honest, I only have about 5 people's birthday's memorized including my own. It makes me sick that I need facebook to remind me when my own brother or sister's birthday is because apparently I don't care enough to remember or at least write it
on a calendar. 

Sorry for the rant, but I miss the days of laying in my room or out in the yard just reading - just doing that - not checking my phone for messages or quickly checking facebook for - I don't even know what. I want those days back of being able to concentrate and not being so divided. I want to be able to take the time, thought, and effort to send someone a letter saying that I miss and love them. I want each action to have meaning and thought behind it. I am tired of experiencing my life through my devices. I'll still have my internet, but from now on I want to use my computer as a tool, not a lifestyle.

In other news, I am sure some of you may have heard of the fund raiser I started for my mom. She is in a pretty tough spot right now, but this fundraiser has really given her a new spark of hope. So far we have raised over $300 and that has helped her in more ways than just financial. I had been talking to her for a few days after she lost her job and I could hear her spirit just fading, she sounded so defeated. Then I told her about the fund raiser and that started bringing her back and once we got the first couple of donations I started hearing hope and joy back in her voice. When I got off the phone with her that time I started crying my eyes out because I felt like I had almost lost her again. But now she's coming back again and that makes me so relieved and happy.

Anyway, I am going to try and get myself back to posting on a semi-regular basis. I hope you are all doing well. 

Lots of Love
Oriona Star Woman

Starting a Business is Hard

So I am mentally banging my head against a wall in frustration. You guys might have read my other blog posts about my previous business ventures, the latest one being home made soap. It hasn't panned out and for a few reasons I doubt that I will be revisiting that idea any time soon. However, I am trying to get something else going, some of you may have seen my Facebook page Starchild Creations. Basically it is crafts and stuff that I make/am going to make in the future. I am starting online and hope to expand to wholesale and craft shows in the future.

New Business Card

But because I am not 12 anymore and I want this to be a legit business, it is going to take a lot more than just setting up a stand in the front yard (not that I even have one because we live in an apartment). Right now I am trying my best to set up an Etsy shop which is fairly straight forward but there is a lot that goes into it before I actually want to start posting things for sale.  For instance, the shop policies. I have never written store policies before and I want to be clear and all-encompassing and fair, and I did try my best to do that, providing information that I think is applicable to my shop. I am sure that there will be things in the future that will lead me to add or edit my policies. The thing that has me the most head-bangingly frustrated though is shipping. Trying to mail something in Canada and trying to get information from the post office about how to calculate costs is like pulling teeth.

Slot of Doom

I spent most of today online and on the phone with various Canada Post representatives trying just to figure out the dimensions of the 'slot of doom' as I have seen it being called on various Etsy and general discussion boards. By the way if you were wanting to know it is: length - 380mm X width - 270mm X height - 20mm. That's millimeters for my American readers - not that I think you would need to know because you guys have that awesome flat-rate shipping, but just in case you were wondering. I took the measurements and made my own cardboard 'slot of doom.'

Anyway, if a package doesn't fit through the 'slot of doom' or if it is over 500 grams in weight, then it becomes a small parcel package. Then in order to calculate the cost of shipping - in addition to size and weight, you also have to know where it is going which is hard if you are selling online and don't happen to know which really awesome person is going to want to buy from you.

SO I was then recommended this thing for businesses called Canada Post web services or something. Anyway it is some kind of software for businesses that hooks up to your Etsy (or other online selling website) and calculates shipping based on the item and where the customer is coming from so they can see how much shipping is. Now I am just trying to figure out how to install this thing and I can't so far. Their 'technical support' was no help but I got an email with another number so I am going to call them tomorrow and see if I can get someone to walk me through it. Once I know how to do it I am going to endeavour to post a tutorial to help others in the future who struggle with the same thing.

AND THEN apart from the oh-so-delightful phone and internet stuff, it was -14*C today. Not too bad, but the windchill made it hella cold. I did not think about this as I ran out the door with only my coat and scarf in search of the John Bead craft supply store that mom recommended to me. It was so freezing cold out at one point I got an ice headache - no joke. The pain was real, and all I could think about while trekking through the cold snow in soft fabric shoes, fighting the painfully cold wind, was how much I want my business to be a success. Wanna know what I was going for? Bead caps and eye pins so I can make these:

into necklaces. I found out however, when I got to John Bead, that they were closed. Oh, it was wonderful. *sarcasm* I actually said out loud 'no, no, NO!!' - complete with the defeated smack of my hand against the unyielding cold of the locked door. Then I thought, 'hey! I'll just go to Walmart!' - This is where I got the ice headache - and only to find that nope! Walmart didn't have them!

 The good news is that I did get some business cards done and a couple test-cards to go with the Stone People Medicine. They don't fold right though...but that (I have to keep telling myself) is a problem to be solved another day.

On the short term, I know how much shipping will cost for the stones that fit through the slot of doom so I will be able to get those up hopefully tonight. Tomorrow I will be leaving early to make sure I don't miss old Johnny boy (John Bead) and then I will be getting the caps and pins and by tomorrow I plan on having some necklaces up. Also some earrings because I found a bag of carved feather charms that came from my dad's crafting stuff. I know he wouldn't want them just sitting around in my crafting things when they could be used to provide for his family so that is what I am going to do.

That's another thing I always admired about my dad, he was never greedy. He got what he needed to survive and be successful but that was it. He never really needed material things and whatever he had he usually gave it away when he found someone that he felt it was really meant for. He took his worldly pleasures from the simple things in life, like having his eggs and coffee done the way he liked. Anyway I feel myself getting emotional and I would rather not cry over my key board. Well, too late I guess, lol. It's been a long day. I miss my dad.

Hope you have a good night - stay warm
Oriona

Making Pretty Things

Hello there :)

So I hope you guys have been having a good year so far, I have been busy busy busy! Back in November, I went to stay with Scott's parents to help his mom look after his sister's kids while she went on vacation. That was a lot of fun, Janie and I make a really good team and the kids are so sweet and well behaved. After that, I went right from there to my mom's place to look after her while she recovered from surgery - it was nice to have a good long visit with her and my younger brother. While I was there I introduced her to 'Netflixing' and she binge-watched the entire Gilmore Girl series which of course when it was over she had a good long cry because "IT'S OVER!!! :'( " - I found it really funny because I guess I am mean like that.

A few of you may have noticed that I started another blog called Media Reviews by Oriona which is me reviewing books, movies, music, and anything else that I find interesting. Someone on youtube asked me to review his glass ornaments that he makes that are actually really beautiful and the process seems really cool so I am going to look into doing that for him.

the first week of January, my longest and best friend Abi came up from the states to visit which was awesome! She was a little dismayed with the weather, but she had a bit of a "DUH!" minute because, hello? Canada in January... But it was still lots of fun, we went shopping and exploring and saw an IMAX dome movie at the Ontario Science Centre which is like, the coolest place ever and awesomely not that far from where I live :)

Then there was job hunting, and job finding. I am really excited to start work next week! But I am also extremely excited to be re-starting my little craft business of Starchild Creations! (Previously known as Sacred Star Creations) I am starting with a Facebook page and hope to expand to etsy.com and craft shows and things like that. So far I am making Painted Gratitude Stones and Splash Paintings, but very soon I am going to be making those microwavable heating pads and probably some other stuff. I also started writing a new book which in the last week I have written the first two chapters. It is called 'The Darkness' (working title) and it is going to be a supernatural thriller based on a terrifying thing that happened to me when I was little. *scary music*

In May, mom, Stone and I are being flown down (courtesy of my AMAZING big brother) to the beautiful (and hot) state of Arizona to see him graduate and visit him and my sisters!! There is just so much going on right now and I am so incredibly happy and grateful for this wonderful life I live.

Wishing you happiness and love
~Oriona