Making Pretty Things

Hello there :)

So I hope you guys have been having a good year so far, I have been busy busy busy! Back in November, I went to stay with Scott's parents to help his mom look after his sister's kids while she went on vacation. That was a lot of fun, Janie and I make a really good team and the kids are so sweet and well behaved. After that, I went right from there to my mom's place to look after her while she recovered from surgery - it was nice to have a good long visit with her and my younger brother. While I was there I introduced her to 'Netflixing' and she binge-watched the entire Gilmore Girl series which of course when it was over she had a good long cry because "IT'S OVER!!! :'( " - I found it really funny because I guess I am mean like that.

A few of you may have noticed that I started another blog called Media Reviews by Oriona which is me reviewing books, movies, music, and anything else that I find interesting. Someone on youtube asked me to review his glass ornaments that he makes that are actually really beautiful and the process seems really cool so I am going to look into doing that for him.

the first week of January, my longest and best friend Abi came up from the states to visit which was awesome! She was a little dismayed with the weather, but she had a bit of a "DUH!" minute because, hello? Canada in January... But it was still lots of fun, we went shopping and exploring and saw an IMAX dome movie at the Ontario Science Centre which is like, the coolest place ever and awesomely not that far from where I live :)

Then there was job hunting, and job finding. I am really excited to start work next week! But I am also extremely excited to be re-starting my little craft business of Starchild Creations! (Previously known as Sacred Star Creations) I am starting with a Facebook page and hope to expand to etsy.com and craft shows and things like that. So far I am making Painted Gratitude Stones and Splash Paintings, but very soon I am going to be making those microwavable heating pads and probably some other stuff. I also started writing a new book which in the last week I have written the first two chapters. It is called 'The Darkness' (working title) and it is going to be a supernatural thriller based on a terrifying thing that happened to me when I was little. *scary music*

In May, mom, Stone and I are being flown down (courtesy of my AMAZING big brother) to the beautiful (and hot) state of Arizona to see him graduate and visit him and my sisters!! There is just so much going on right now and I am so incredibly happy and grateful for this wonderful life I live.

Wishing you happiness and love
~Oriona

A Walk in Two Worlds

It is really strange being a child of two worlds. There's the "white" part of me that looks something like this:

That part of me loves books and writing and art, Disney movies (obviously), and other 'western world' things, sometimes she wants to get dressed up and go dancing and be elegant and maybe even one day rich and successful.

 But then there's the First Nation side of me who doesn't really care about material things and just wants to downsize all my belongings down to a van and go on a spiritual adventure. That's the part of me that wants to live at one with nature and I basically try to apply my spirituality and culture in my every day life, but when someone asks me what my background is, and I tell them I am Native American, and they say 'no you're not' - I can't even express how much it frustrates me.

Maybe it's stupid - as a lot of people tell me, that I shouldn't care what other people say - which I try, but this is a deep rooted issue. When I was younger, I didn't even know I looked white until other people pointed it out to me. When we went to South Dakota the kids there would say: 'why are you here? you're white.' And when I would try to talk to the kids at school about my culture they would tease me and say 'what, can you talk to birds Pocahontas?' Now I am older and every time I see an elder or another First Nations person I want to talk to them in the way that feels natural, like saying 'Hello Grandfather, here would you like to sit down?" I shy away because I am afraid they will see a "wannabe white girl." One time I was at the Peterborough Canoe Museum and when we were sharing food that an elder had prepared and brought in for us, I got up to help because that was the respectful thing to do. My classmates were just sitting there waiting to be served and then they started whispering 'what is she doing?' and 'why is she dressed like that' (I was wearing a long skirt - omg so weird right?) and then when I was talking to one of  the museum people about my background he got mad and called me "one of those hippie-dippie types" - which might be part of the reason I am shy now. The only time I felt like I belonged and that people accepted me at face value is when my dad was alive. Being introduced as "Manny Twofeathers' daughter" left very little room for doubt about my heritage. Now I'm going through this identity crisis where I don't know which side is the real me.

When I look like this:

 But feel like this:

I just don't know, it's like I know who I am but I feel like a poser even though I know it's not true. Then the logical `wise` side to me remembers what my dad told me when I wanted to go tanning and colour my hair black, he said; "Mija, don`t ever let anyone try to tell you who you are. When you cut your finger, you bleed just as Red as anyone else." And Sacred Star Woman would tell Oriona that both sides are equally part of who I am. As long as I walk in my truth then that is all that matters. Creator made me the way I am supposed to be for one reason or another. Even walking through these city streets, when I feel the wind blow through my hair and hear the Thunder Beings rolling in, I feel the Creator and I know who I am - even though I struggle sometimes. I hope that one day I will fully be able to realize and accept all aspects of myself. The pressure is on now that I am trying to follow in my father's footsteps. But he wore big moccasins so maybe I will need to take a path that runs beside the one he followed.

AMR
~Oriona Star Woman

Disclaimer: I do not own the photos above, they belong to Disney.